Monday’s Musings From the Porch Swing

Today as I was getting ready to go to the Dr. it dawned on me that I, like many others, get guessed up to go out, but don’t think much about how nice I dress around the house.  Why is it that many of us worry more about what we look like when we are among strangers than we do when around our own husbands; don’t they deserve to see us look nice too?  I know that we spend a lot of time cleaning, cooking, and wiping snot from children’s noses and don’t want to put on a dress that we would wear to a party to do such task.  When we are picking out our everyday house clothes, or the patterns and material in which to make them, maybe we should put a little more thought into it and buy practical but pretty clothing.  I’ve been thinking I should take the time to look nice for my husband when he comes home from a long day at work; give him something to look forward to.  In the long run not only will this benefit him it will also benefit me, because it makes me happy to see my family happy, especially my husband.  It will also make me feel better about myself when I look in the mirror and give me a better outlook.  That in turn will make me more pleasant to be around, hopefully even when I’ve had a bad day, at least better than I would have if I’d seen myself dressed frumpy on a day like that.

I am not planning on telling my husband of this plan of mine, I am just going to implement it and see what changes come about daily when he comes home from work.

Do We Pester?

I search the web for information to provide what I hope is the best for my family.  Sometimes when I find something and share it with my spouse he isn’t inthusiastic about it and says he doesn’t agree wtih it.  I’m sure many of you have been in this situation.  If this happens and we try to tell him more about this new idea a few times are we going against his authority of saying no it’s not a good idea and pestering him hoping he will give in or are we just trying to fill him in on this new information?  Is it possible that we feel we are just trying to explain to him our point of view and he feels that we are pestering him to get him to let us have what we desire?  If he does feel this way then how to we get him to listen to us in situations like this without coming off as a pest?  We want to do the right thing and honor him and love him the way the Lord says we should.

How We Speak About our Husbands and Husbands of Others

We women often hear that we shouldn’t talk to people about issues we have with our husbands, but how often have you heard you shouldn’t give another woman advice about her own husband?  Have you been told that you don’t have the right to make bad comments about another woman’s husband?  I have not read or been told this but it has weighed on my heart.  You see one night I was talking to a really close friend and I was upset with something her husband had done, so I made a derogatory comment about him to her.  She got real quiet.  After hanging up the phone God began to work on me; letting me know that what I had done was wrong and that I should apologize.  It was too late to call her back, so I had to wait and carry the guilt of what I had done till the next time I could get ahold of her.  Once I had told her that I was sorry for saying that about her husband the burden was lifted from me.  I have now learned that along with not talking bad about our own husbands we don’t have the right to talk bad about other women’s husbands either, even if we are talking to another woman about a friend’s husband.  Not only does this make for better relationships with our friends it also keeps us from encouraging her to say bad things about her husband, which she may be more prone to do when she hears us say bad things about him.

Want to build your marriage?

It is easy for us to sit and think of all the things our husbands don’t do that we wish they did.  It is easy to make up list in our heads of the mistakes they make or the things they forget.  If we look at 1 Cor. 13 we can see that we shouldn’t be behaving this way.  Maybe you struggle with this or maybe you were brought up in a home where you didn’t see examples of what it is like to truly love your husband according to God’s guidelines.  You are not alone.  Today while surfing the web I took a link from A Wise Woman Builds Her Home to a post about giving our husbands more attention at Like a Bubbling Brook.  At the bottom of this post I took links to the Completing Him Challenge at  Women Living Well , Gratituesdays at Heavenly Homemakers ,  and Marriage Mondays at Come Have a Peace.  All of these post deal with our strive to be Godly wives.  I hope you find them as informative and helpful as I have.

Decision Making

Decision Making

How do you make decisions in your home?  Do you make some or all the decisions by yourself?  Do you think to turn to God to guide you in what you should do?  Do you go to your husband for help with your decisions?

I will admit I don’t always remember to ask God for guidance when making a decision, though I do try and am always working to do it more.  When I have an important decision to make it concerns my family since I am the keeper of our home.  If I have prayed about something that I think needs a decision now, but peace about what I think should be done is not there, I go to my husband with my concerns and what I think.  He may agree or disagree with me, or even tell me we should wait or that the decision is not as pressing as I had thought.

Going to my husband does not mean I am not a confident woman or that I can’t hear God’s leading.  It does mean that I am upholding the Biblical standard and confident in God and the husband He provided me with.  This in turn makes me a strong and confident woman and in turn make our family unit stronger, by setting a good example for our children.   We work together, but my husband is head of the household just like God intended.  I should depend on him to help me with things I am unsure of.  He too will come to me; in this way we work together as a team.  Don’t just wing it next time you are not sure what should be the answer to something you need to do or something you have been contemplating.  First, try to remember to pray then go to your husband.

How can you be a helpmeet?

Helpmeet

How do you go about being a good helpmeet? If you have children like we do this can sometimes be hard. What I mean is; as a mom we have a tendency to put our children first, but this is not the way it should be. In the order of our priorities and responsibilities God is first, then our spouses, then the children, then others. What you may be asking; I thought we had a responsibility to help others. We do, but we also have a responsibility to help our family. If we have a wonderful relationship with God, then we will be able to be a better wife, mother, and so forth. If we in turn dedicate ourselves to being a good helpmeet, our homes will function better and we will be in a better position to help others. Just remember we have to get right with God to begin with, this does not mean we will be perfect, that will only happen when we get to Heaven. What it does mean is that we do our best by continuing to pray and spend time with the Lord daily and do what He ask of us. Our very next concern as I mentioned before is our spouses. We need to listen to them, respect them, have patience, help them, and say we are sorry when we are wrong. Don’t let your pride get in the way of doing these things. We were created to be his helper.

If you are new to looking at your marriage this way it will probably be a big adjustment for both you and your husband, but in the long run, since you are following God’s plan for marriage, it will be better than if you had just done your own thing. This will not happen overnight and you will mess up plenty of times, like the rest of us do, but God is faithful in helping us to follow His plans for us. Don’t be too hard on yourself, ask God for forgiveness and forgive yourself, spend time with the Lord meditating and reading His word. I have found that having like minded Christian girlfriend and reading blogs of like minded Christians is helpful, as well as studying some of the good Women’s Bible study books on the market that have been written for this purpose.